It’s Capricorn season!

The time of year when people don’t care what season it is. Most of us want to go deep into hibernation, because the holidays have somehow adversely affected our mind or body.

So you walk into January with a perpetual holiday hangover, the “New Year, New You!” refrain chiming in your head (Please. Life is not an infomercial. It’s time to stop), and financial scars from those holiday indulgences. You’re fed up with waking up to darkness and going home to darkness.

Then there’s Blue Monday - supposedly, the saddest day of the year. January has a bad rep, no doubt here.

So I understand why people don’t feel like celebrating a January birthday. You have a build-up of reasons. Except, reasons are just accepted excuses.

And excuses need to be challenged.

1. “It’s the Anniversary of your 29th Birthday!”

You just want to quietly shuffle thirty under the rug because thirty? She’s a dirty little secret, isn’t she?

You reflect on the past decade. Sure, you have a great group of friends, maybe a hunky man, and an established career but YOU ARE STILL LOSING YOUR SHZ. The sirens going on in your head is partly biologically-induced, partly societal.

Why aren’t you living in a townhouse downtown? If you’ve bought a home, why aren’t you married? And if you’re married, why don’t you have children yet? And if you have children, are you saving enough to get your kids a good education and fund your retirement?

INSTEAD: Run a damn bath and enjoy that entire cake if you want. The negative committee that meets inside your head needs to shut up and sit their asses down.

The train of questions you have happily entertained in your one-person self-doubt/ self-pity party are putting your achievements down! Stop playing the game. Be the cat in the rat race.

I never stopped feeling excited about my birthday, and I wasn’t about to let some arbitrary number change that. There are people out there who never made it to their next birthday. Be grateful that you still have time ahead of you to make changes and grow as a person.

2. “Another year closer to Death”

Yes, can’t argue with you there. So what are you going to do about it?

WTF Hubby loves the idea of eternal life, while I appreciate that there is one day a year that makes you aware of your short existence here. It’s human nature to push things to the next day or the next year, until we run out of days left to push.

INSTEAD: Society wants to keep you sedated and apathetic, but you are going to sit with the discomfort.

Journal it out if you want. Seek a psychologist or a counsellor if your thoughts are getting more pervasive.

Resilience, growth, and success come from overcoming hard moments. Be thankful that your birthday is always there to raise those existential questions you never think about during you day to day life.

3. “Am I Special Enough?”

“I haven’t done anything to deserve a celebration.”
”Birthdays are just like any other day of the year.”
”It’s weird to throw myself a party.”

This is what you say. Then you feel a small tug in your heart, when you see other people’s birthday pictures on Instagram. They are surrounded by people who want to celebrate the day they came into existence, so they must be special.

You have your own reasons for being dismissive and telling yourself you don’t care. You’ve told people you don’t care so many times that they (AND YOU) now believe you don’t care. The celebrations have gone away, but the need to belong and feel accepted hasn’t.

INSTEAD: You are enough. You just have to believe it first.

Show yourself compassion and kindness.

Birthdays can really highlight the areas of lack, if you let them.

You also have the responsibility to advocate for yourself. If you’ve changed your mind and now want to celebrate your birthday, let others know your expectations. Is it a small gathering? Something big? Do you want it to be a surprise?

Take charge of your birthday and do what feels right for you.

My birthday is mid-January, and I’m no stranger to setting the birthday scene. I’m as tired and screwed up as the rest of you, but the invites roll out before January 4th each year.

If you want to celebrate your January birthday, do it! There’s a lack of scientific evidence to support Blue Monday. Bills are due around the third week of every month, every year - not just January. Trying to cram 12 months’ worth of reflection and goals into a single month IS HARD. Skip the stress, and reflect more often. It’s okay to start anew on a day that’s not January 1st. Don’t buy into herd mentality. Find out what you really want from the first month of the year!

January is a state of mind and mine is set to party.

Yours,

WTF Bride