“A person who plays the game knowing he will win, doesn’t impress me as much as the person who plays the game even though he knows that he might lose.”
― N'Zuri Za Austin

The Queen’s Gambit is a delicious series. Filled with 1960’s indulgences, elegance, and intelligent players, it’s an easy Netflix invitation to accept.

The series follows doe-eyed Beth Harmon, an orphan at the Methuen Orphanage for Girls, who is captivated by the world of chess. Determined to become a chess grandmaster while battling various addictions and grief, she begins to find out how the game of life can be more seductive than chess itself.

As the discovery hits Beth, it will dawn on viewers that there’s more to the Queen’s Gambit than seeing pawns strike with precision across chessboards. Like Alma Wheatley said, “Chess is not all there is,” and she’s right.

It’s the realization that we’re all players in a bigger game.

Beth Harmon Plays the Game of Life

Game Instruction #1 - Find the One Who Teaches You How to Think and Not What to Think, Episode 1: Openings

You resign now. It’s not a rule. It’s sportsmanship.

-William Shaibel

Beth is headstrong and determined to see every chess move through. It’s not a surprise that her narrow focus causes friction between her and her mentor/friend Mr. Shaibel when he forces her to resign mid-game.

Beth continues to have flashbacks to this very moment whenever she faces a difficult moment. Unlike her coveted green pills, letting go is a harder pill to swallow.

It’s a difficult lesson to learn, but one that many of us need to learn. Shaibel eventually forgives Beth’s outburst and continues to mentor her, even after her abilities grew outside the walls of the orphanage.

Lesson learned: Seek out a mentor who inspires you to think differently.

Game Instruction #2 - Just play!

Beth’s ambition to play in her first chess tournament is unbridled.

She steals magazines to study chess. Writes Shaibel to borrow money. Signs up to play, despite twins Matt and Mike warning her that she’ll get eaten alive by the other players.

All this pays off when she gets crowned Kentucky State Champion.

But no matter how many wins Beth has, it’s the games she loses that haunt her the most - from her first draw with Benny to her losses with Russian grandmaster, Borgov. They were all Beth could think about.

That’s because Beth is a hardcore perfectionist. The bigger her losses, the more self-destructive she becomes. After her loss with Borgov, she just wanted a drink.

It was the kind of drink that turned into several drinks over several days, before she cleaned up to play chess again.

Losses stuck with Beth, because they were what pushed her to rethink her existing strategies and grow.

Lesson learned: You don’t become better if you don’t play.

Game Instruction #3 - Play with others, Episode 7: End Game

It would be too easy to dismiss the Queen’s Gambit as another exercise in female empowerment. Yes, she’s feminine, smart, strong, and thoughtful in a world dominated by men, but Beth’s character is too dynamic to stay boxed in.

The way that she pushes everyone out, traipses around, and wallows into oblivion is completely HUMANIZING. We can all see ourselves in Beth.

As her mom, adoptive mom, and Shaibel pass on, the more loneliness, guilt and self-condemnation creeps in to wither away at her person. Jolene quickly reminds Beth that it’s not all doom and gloom and watching memories go aflame. Just as Shaibel had followed her chess career, so had Jolene. Not everyone who cares about her is lost.

In the end, it was so satisfying to see Jolene, Matt, Mike, Harry, Townes, and Benny work together to help Beth beat Gorgov and celebrate her ultimate win.

Lesson learned: You don’t always have to prove your worth to receive the care you need.

Beth’s story reminds me of my own mentors and friends. Mine taught me to embrace excellence, accept help, and take care of myself all while I was actively refusing to do those things. You know who you are, and I am so lucky that you are still a part of my life after all these years. Thank you.

We will get past our own debilitating perfectionism and traumas, when we know we are enough and worthy of the care from others. We’ll realize that once the game is over, all the playing pieces are meant to go back in the same box.

Remember that.

Yours,

WTF Bride