WTF, The Wedding Dress Says Yes, But Mom Says No!
Mother-daughter relationships are like weather fronts.
Cold, warm, and unpredictable.
Throw these two fronts into a wedding dress boutique, and brace yourself for an abrupt and intense storm. Then step back and watch Mom’s face as she sees her daughter step out in the dress, and her face looks like sunbeams are radiating out of it.
If you’re thinking, “WTF is this?” You are not alone.
Worldwide, daughters actively gauge their mother’s behaviour and reactions before the wedding dress appointment. They’re playing weather woman in a game that guarantees no guarantees.
Mom and I had our bridal appointment last Saturday. Here’s how we came out on the other side, unscathed:
Ask Mom If She Wants To Come
I was not enthused about wedding dress shopping. I was going to skip it altogether and do something unconventional. Then I was told: IT’S AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE FOR MOMS!
I asked my Mom anyway, just to be sure!
It’s a good idea to both share your views about the wedding dress experience, before it happens. If there are differences in level of interest or importance, at least they’ll be clear to you both at the get-go.
2. Figure Out The Game Plan
If wedding dress shopping is important to Mom, figure out how you’re going to include her before you make the appointment.
a) You go with Mom and it’s just the two of you.
b) You go with Mom and your bridal party.
c) You go with Mom and your MIL.
d) You tell Mom she is going to be involved in a different way (e.g., she helps you pin gowns from Pinterest, she goes to the boutique to see you try on the dress you’ve already picked out, you Zoom her into the appointment, etc.)
Make sure to ask the boutique how many people you can bring. Each store’s Covid Guidelines are different.
Finally, let Mom know how she fits into the plan. Make sure she’s also well aware of the date & time.
3. Eat Before You Go
Shopping for wedding dresses takes up a lot of energy, so fuel up!
Flipping through the dresses is the warm up. Negotiating with your mom requires energy. Literally jumping into dresses, trying to walk out in long gowns, and not faceplanting is exhausting.
Please eat.
4. Try On Some Dresses Mom Picked Out
Be open to trying different styles, even if it’s something that Mom picked out. You might be surprised!
Even if you only try on one dress from her, it will make her feel that much more involved.
The dress my Mom picked out for me fit like a glove and the style really grew on me!
5. “It’s Your Day!”
Luckily, my Mom was involved in the dress shopping, but not too involved - something that Moms can find tricky. She kept telling me it was my day and that it’s important that I love my dress!
Offer reminders if Mom forgets this amidst all the excitement or if she has many opinions.
Don’t get pressured into saying yes. The decision is ultimately YOURS.
Credits: Freepik by master1305
My Mom and I ate Krispy Kremes after the appointment, just to unwind. Wedding dress shopping can make even the most composed mother-daughter team crazy, stressed, and neurotic. Sugar helps!
Every girl’s relationship with her mom is different, and every relationship works both ways.
My Mom and I are not without our differences, but I am glad we tried to make this a special and fun memory for ourselves! If anything, I suspect it’s our shared stubbornness that has made our bond stronger over the years.
How are you planning to include your Mom or Future Mother-In-Law in your wedding dress shopping? Who did you invite to go wedding dress shopping?