WTF Did Watching 31 Horror Movies In October Do To Me?
I wanted it all in October: a basic PSL I only half-cared for, family photos in front of sprawling pumpkins from the patch, an exuberant First Halloween for my baby, and obviously, 31 days of horror movies.
Why would anyone want that? You ask.
Admittedly, that’s more horror movies than some people can stomach in a lifetime. When I announced my venture into the dark, unruly world of evil entities, sadistic killers, and everyday horrors for the entire month of October, I thought it would be an inconsequential statement.
It wasn’t. It generated buzz and psychologically-redesigned our home into Pinhead’s fear dimension. House guests shuddered and imagined me force-feeding them images that burned hellishly, scarring whatever innocence they had managed to protect into adulthood.
Come on, people. I would not commit such an atrocious act of mind rape. Either you consent to watching a horror movie with me, or you don’t. I’ll honour that.
Nonetheless, my horror movie experiment became a social experiment, casting an invisible force-field around our place. The newfound quiet, cut by baby babbles and cries, created space for nostalgia and contemplation.
And out of that, realization: if there’s anything horror movies and motherhood have in common, it’s the sheer number of opportunities for deep-seated fears to present themselves and an overwhelming base instinct to protect against them or survive them.
Parenthood is littered with fear from the moment of conception. Malignant (2021)’s portrayal of pregnant Madison after her husband forcefully shoves her and kills their unborn baby is heart-stopping and more disturbing than the rest of the movie. Chasing that movie down with Rosemary’s Baby (1968) or Omen III: Final Conflict (1981; oh man… disturbing infant murders) isn’t recommended.
Then we have 2022’s Lullaby. From the director of Annabelle (2014), Lullaby creepy-whispers and reflects back to new parents the sleepless nights, plummeting confidence towards the postpartum body, stress as a working mom, and the paranoia motivating you to do everything in your power to keep your baby safe from danger.
Finally, Stephen King’s Pet Sematary (1989) revolves around every parents‘ worst nightmare - the loss of a child. What was originally a chilling window into devastating loss in our younger days, is now a movie that can cause our foundation of parenthood to quake with suffocating dread.
Other fears in parenthood are driven by extraordinary change and the powerful stench of the unknown. Our sense of self is discombobulated as we reconcile our new role and new body, with our pre-existing existence. It’s a vulnerable place to be. Like a 16-year-old Buffy Summers with the weight of the world on her shoulders, but you know, real life. Parenthood bestows you with new powers, yet concurrently, you feel weightless with powerlessness as a new mom/parent.
Don’t worry. Well-meaning advice and relatable stories will soon arrive to help tether you down. They’ll arrive, punctual and pushy perhaps. Here are the ones that resurfaced from memory during my month-long, horror movie marathon.
What I heard: “Stop watching horror movies!”
Presumed intent: Protect your children’s delicate innocence
Me: If you mean 0, how about no?
An easy ‘no’, when I was pregnant. Especially when it was followed up with: “Watching horror movies will distort your baby’s features.” As a science graduate, I can’t accept advice based on the power of altering baby’s physical appearance simply by looking at images. That in itself sounds like a horror movie that discredits genetics.
I did cut down on my horror movie consumption last year, so 31 days of horror movies became my way of playing catch up. This drastic action was based on my belief that stressors, positive or negative, could affect my baby. My role as a mom is newly minted, so it was better to play it safe than be sorry.
No one wants to be a bad parent, but there's no formulaic or standard way to parent and guarantee that we get it right all the time. That’s because no two little humans have the same quirky make-up. This ambiguity is frightening. Fear feeds, because its favourite appetizer is sleep deprived and uncertain victims: those of us who are starting our journey as mom or dad.
I knew this, as I sat down to watch my first horror movie in months, using it as a tattered blue, Linus blanket (Charlie Brown, yo). Seeking refuge in horror movies isn’t everyone’s first or last choice, but it’s mine. It's a safe place for my fears to dance, among the familiar beats of this genre.
According to The Psychology Behind Why We Love (Or Hate) Horror from The Harvard Business Review, horror movies offer comfort to viewers who possess psychological protective frames of steel. People who are built with sturdy safety frames (they know they’re physically safe), can detach from horrific onscreen acts by reminding themselves that it’s not real, and possess confidence in their ability to “survive the movie”.
Growing pains are guaranteed with any new venture - first relationship, first job, first scary movie, and without a doubt, your first time as a parent. But you'll soon develop your own protective frames: establishing that safety for you and your child, and gaining the confidence to not only survive, but flourish in parenthood.
My takeaway: If I stop watching horror movies, isn’t that like letting fear win? Choosing to accept the fear, acknowledge it, and then show it the door.
Will you see your fears as ‘not scary at all’, ‘scary’, or ‘very scary’?
What I heard: “You’ll never finish a movie again.”
Presumed intent: Don’t be surprised when your interests take a backseat.
Me: You’ll finish as many movies as you want as a Mom. You’re the author of your own narrative.
You know what absolute statements like “You’ll never get to ______ as a parent” and horror-tropes have in common? They get challenged.
And I’m a big fan!
In response to race tropes in horror, The Blackening (2022)’s tagline says it all: We can’t all die first. Wes Craven’s Scream (1996) gave us beloved Randy Meeks who understood the rules of horror movies, while Cabin in the Woods (2011) subverted our expectations of one-dimensional characters in the genre.
Speaking of one-dimensional, the modern day horror story is believing that motherhood is your sole identity and the life you had before that is now “over”. It's easy to become consumed by the beautiful chaos that comes with nurturing a tiny human being. But we are so much more than just the role we play in our children's lives.
Society embeds in us that once we become mothers, everything else should fade into the background. It’s embedded generationally, and it runs deep. It ignores the void that no amount of nurturing can fill when we neglect other aspects of our lives that bring us joy and accomplishment. Finally, it guilts us when we defy it.
Whether it's engaging in hobbies like watching an excessive amount of horror movies, continuing education, or pursuing a career, we owe it to ourselves to find the balance that allows us to be the best version of ourselves. And when we prioritize self-care and self-fulfillment, we become stronger role models for our children.
My takeaway: You can be a remarkable individual both inside and outside the realm of motherhood.
What I heard: “Enjoy your sleep while you still can!”
Presumed intent: Parenthood is about making sacrifices.
Me: Um, the wicked don’t sleep.
"Enjoy your sleep while you still can!" is a well-meaning, albeit slightly ominous, phrase tossed at expectant parents. The person who gave me this advice clearly doesn’t know me. Before I became pregnant, glorious hours of REM sleep, where dreams are woven with fluffy clouds and symphonies of chirping birds were already not my jam.
Me? I’m a horror movie-loving mom. Sleep has always been a distant wish while my adrenaline surged, keeping my nerves on edge into the wee hours of the morning. Basically, I’ve been immersing myself in a sleepless realm for ages now.
Also, who needs sleep anyway? We all know the best way to recharge is by crying into a cold cup of coffee at 3 a.m., right?
Jokes aside, how come no one mentioned anything about the joys of being constantly interrupted by a little darling? Truly a meditative experience, having my thoughts abruptly shattered every few minutes. Who needs uninterrupted concentration anyway? It's not like I was trying to do anything important, like finish my sentence, or say… this blog post.
Being interrupted by my baby is a delightful challenge that keeps me on my toes. I’ve dipped into multitasking, but I end up feeling guilty for not being a present parent. Again, the choice is a no brainer - sleep deprivation it is! Let me soak up those tender moments with my baby and relentlessly work on my writing at 6am, 2pm, or 1am… whenever it is that my baby is asleep, and even then, I’ll want to catch those reflexive sleep smiles!
My takeaway: In the grand tapestry of parenthood, sleepless nights become part of our unique journey, shaping us into who we are.
A Cinematic Journey Into Motherhood: Lessons Learned from 31 Horror Movies in 31 Days
Embarking on the ghoulish adventure of watching 31 horror movies in 31 days was a ride. The silver screen became a mirror, reflecting back my own joys, fears, challenges, and triumphs as a mom.
Several fear-based narratives will compete for our attention in motherhood, but ultimately, we’re the one with final say over our new story and identity. Challenge the status quo. Challenge generational trauma, and the stories and advice that gets passed down to you about parenthood. Trust that you’ll find time for what matters to you - unless it’s sleep.
Ultimately, this month-long horror movie marathon taught me that amidst the responsibilities of motherhood, it's important to nurture my own passions and strike a balance between embracing adventure and being mindful of my role as a parent.
What movies, horror or otherwise, have impacted your view on parenthood? Or life in general? Comment with a recommendation!
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear my baby crying. Time for my dramatic exit!
Wondering what movies I watched? Here they are:
Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)
The Boogeyman (2023)
The Nun II (2023)
Totally Killer (2023)
Knock At The Cabin (2023)
The Amityville Curse (2023)
Meg II: The Trench (2023)
Haunted Mansion (2023)
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
Smile (2022)
The Blackening (2022)
Grimcutty (2022)
The Menu (2022)
The Lullaby (2022)
Halloween Ends (2022)
Halloween Kills (2021)
Untitled Horror Movie (2021)
Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayer (2020)
Hellarious (2019)
The Houses October Built II (2017)
The Houses October Built (2014)
V/H/S: Viral (2014)
The Selling (2011)
Rubber (2010)
The Omen (2006)
Army of Darkness (1992)
The Addams Family (1991)
Evil Dead II (1987)
The Omen (1976)
The Omen II: Damien (1978)
The Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981)
