An interview with someone who is actually single in Vancouver about the aggressive algae in her dating pool, background checks, and what it takes to find that “genuine connection”.

Interviewing for WTF Bride blog was always something I’ve wanted to do, simply because people fascinate me!

So it was a treat, to be held in fascination, by our first guest, Sass Sy. Sass grew up in Vancouver, has a respectable career, owns her place, and was intrigued by the prospect of romance. When asked about the dating scene in Vancouver, Sass’ question of “What’s wrong with these people?” reminds me of how frustrated I get over spoiled milk.

But you can’t let that disappointment stop you from getting milk for your morning latte, amirite? I could also be fatally optimistic for Sass, who estimates that 20% of her dates actually have something truly wrong with them.

I have to say, growing up in Vancouver has left me wondering, “Really? Only 20?”

The rest fall into the pool of “interesting”. Sass equates the interesting pool as being socially-adept in conversations, yet unexpected in how “overbearing” and “aggressive” they become in their attachment.

Whether you believe this is the kind of attachment we’re wired for as human beings, or see it as a certain appendage trying to attach to you - that’s up to you my friend.

Maybe the asserter/inserter sees it as a display of strength, confidence, and decisiveness when he asks for her number after a few conversations on a dating app. Sass takes it as well as standing in front of a moving bus. This is where dating gets tricky right? Does he want her number to get off the app or just to get off?

Sass is tired of guys asking her, “Well why not?” when she refuses. “Who else are you talking to?”
”Why can’t we talk now?”
They take it personally.

She acknowledges that she prefers to take things slow.

Small Town Loving

Sass has widened her search beyond Vancouver.

She was on phone dates for weeks when she noticed her small town potential beau only asked to meet up at night. Red flags obviously danced around Sass. If he was a vampire who’s deathly allergic to sun, it’s still a red flag…

“Unless…”

Sass offers, “He’s upfront about what he truly wants instead of being shady.”

I feel an elaboration coming.

“You can have fun as long as you’re both upfront about it.”
She said that disclosure (about quenching his thirst for the night) is always better than deception. That we’re mature adults here. Given the information, we can make informed choices and accept the consequences!

What are your thoughts about emotionally-mature adults? Are they the unicorns of the dating world?

While there’s always the hope that you’ll know exactly what you’re getting yourself into, dating can work in ~~mysterious~~ dumb ways.

Here’s How Not To Date

The reason why we drifted towards disclosure vs. deception was because Sass worked with someone who did her background research on her beau after they broke up.

Why did they break up, you ask?

For six months, things were great! Until he had to move back to Chile TO. GET. MARRIED. WTF.

It must have stung. That’s a quick way for anyone to have no desire to have a relationship in the future.

How elusive is it to find a “Genuine Connection” in Vancouver?

I once heard that cities foster short term transactions, rather than long-term connections. Attachment issues and the fear of settling down run just short of rampant.

“No one is unf*cked up,” Sass helpfully adds. “We all have something to work on. You can’t expect things from others if you don’t have some level of that trait yourself.”

But as long as people are combining self-growth with dating apps, the search for that connection is still on! When asked to rank the apps she uses, Sass thinks Hinge is only slightly better for building that connection.

Final words?

“There is no shortcut to making a connection. The apps are just one tool, but we can’t rely on them alone.”

And that was Sass Sy, Single in Vancouver. What do you think about dating in Vancouver?

Leave a comment. Maybe Sass will even get back to you.