We’re constantly inundated and brainwashed by so many trite romantic movies! The formula of most romantic movies gives you unrealistic and rocky dreams to yearn for.

They present a clean problem and solution. They’re sterile. They scratch at the surface of love, even though their raison d'être is love. (Overgeneralizing the genre, I know, but gems are rare.)

Talk about finding love in an unlikely place, and you’ll stumble upon Netflix’s The Haunting of Bly Manor. Bly Manor comes as a breath of fresh air from a deeply, dark place. Horror is a tricky genre to do justice, but Mike Flanagan triumphed again! He understands the underpinnings of love…

And that is fear.

Fear is powerful. We want to believe that love drives our actions, but honesty reveals that the avoidance of fear, loss, and discomfort frequently wins by a long shot. Is there no hope?

There is.

Just as love and fear co-exists, our resilience in relationships develops when we are able to overcome our deep-seated fears.

1. Fear of Loss

Episode 1, The Great Good Place & Episode 9, The Beast in the Jungle

Bly Manor begins with a wedding rehearsal dinner, and we get the following speech:

Half of marriages these days do not end in divorce. That means there’s a strong probability that you two get to watch each other die. And that’s the preferred outcome. To truly love another person is to accept that the the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them.

When the future missus feels overwhelmed by the thought of outliving her life partner, our storyteller offers comfort and it will pull at all your heartstrings! The fear echoes our own. It is a real fear that creeps up during ordinary moments. One that you will have to feel through to get through.

It’s a natural side-effect of love.

2. Fear of Getting Effed in the A

**Episodes 3 and 7, The Two Faces (Part 1 & 2)**

Peter Quint is the quintessential, good-looking, bad boy with a trauma-filled past. He’s psychological bruised. He’s clever. He’s damaged, but he still deserves love, right?

Quint’s story would play out differently in typical romantic movie fashion. He would meet an attractive and intelligent lady like Rebecca Jessel (right). She’ll change his life for the better, and they’ll get married.

In Bly, Quint lays down his carefully-spun web of lies and Rebecca gets caught up in it. As her love for him grows, she dismisses her colleagues’ warnings and the signs that start to reveal themselves. Quint manipulates Rebecca to her death, and she did not see it coming until it was too late! She dove straight into what she thought was love and drowned.

For most of us, the fear of getting manipulated or the need to establish trust in a relationship keeps us safe.

3. Fear of Being Vulnerable

Episodes 5, Altar of the Dead

Owen and Hannah Grose’s love story is my favourite.

The two are so obviously smitten with each other, but they never got the chance to tell each other how they really feel. It’s a story that urges you to open yourself up and confront your vulnerabilities, rather than just dream about the possibilities of love.

4. Fear of Forgetting

Episode 4, The Way It Came & Episode 9, The Beast in the Jungle

As the story of Bly Manor reaches its climax, it’s revealed that this celebration of love did not come about without a significant amount of loss for the characters.

Love has its fair share of ghosts.

Relationships that don’t work out leave memories. Losing loved ones leave an everlasting mark. No one puts it into words better than little Flora, when she’s talking to Owen after the loss of his mother.

“You’re not dying you know… When Mum and Dad died, I thought I was going to die too... It only felt like dying because actually, I was still alive. You have to be to feel that way. I wasn’t dead. I was just really really sad.
But then I learned a secret... Dead doesn’t mean gone.”

When you lose someone you love, the pain never goes away. It dulls over time.

Sometimes you realize that you’ve forgotten that person for only a second. The realization is a quick flash across one of your most splendid moments. The second appears minute, but that is enough. The next thing you know, an insurmountable amount of fear grips you. You’re afraid you’ll forget this person, and you feel so guilty about it.

Just remember that secret.

Dead doesn’t mean gone.

Horror does not need to be your cup of tea for you to enjoy Flanagan’s slow burn of a series. He wove another poignant narrative that subverted expectations and made the genre’s tropes spin on its head. Love is entwined with fear and darkness, and Bly Manor gives us a story of everlasting love.